#撕逼大战# 目测做渣男的成本提高了... 劈腿被炸宿舍也是新常态

For a cheating lying asshole.

I did this not because he didn’t chose me in the end, but rather how he handled the situation. He did not care about how i would feel and focused solely on how wonderful his new relationship would be before ours was properly ended despite its short duration (started 26 April 2015) and was utterly selfish. Yes i want him to be happy but, not by lying about what i am and who i am. We went through shit for 3 months though we had no status then (because i kept saying no. I felt that he wasn’t ready), i stuck by him cause i believed i love him and i should do all i can for him.

He was broke and constantly low on cash (or claimed to be) and i paid for like the bulk of the things. I spent at least 2 months salary on both of our expenditure. He is a fucking heavy drinker. He wipes out a minimum of 6 cans of beer every night, we would drink or club almost every week with me paying the most of it. Sometimes i would stuff cash in his wallet just to make sure he don’t have to live on maggi mee, buy cigarettes for him when i see his supply running short. When he was cramming for exams i ordered McDelivery for him because i didn’t want him to go hungry, bought chicken chop for him simply because he felt like eating it. He wanted Daniel Wellington watch, i got it for him. Well it was not that i minded. It made me happy to see him happy. I’m not trying to sound noble. We slept together almost every night squeezing in the same bed, did everything together, shared our hopes and dreams drinking late into the night, planned to visit my grandma in thailand, going to Hong Kong before his school starts, basically being part of each other’s everyday life, all for 3 months. Take that all in, consider what we had. But that aside, let me begin my story.

So, he met this girl (shall we call her X) for the first time on 13 May 2015 (Wednesday), one day before we went for our trip to HatYai. We did not meet that night because i had an early shoot and i haven’t packed for the trip. He met up with his good friend (shall we call him S) and went to CSB (a pub) at HollandV. His friend asked X (supposedly his God-Cousin) along to join them at the pub. I guess when their eyes met, an electrifying spark connected the both of their hearts in an indecipherable way. Love at first sight i suppose, nothing wrong with that. People fall in love all the time. My guess is that they exchanged numbers or maybe he asked S for X’s number.

The next day (14 May 2015, Thursday), he did not message me as much. Did not camp at my office lobby to wait for me to end work (which he would usually do ALL THE TIME, my colleagues would go “eh your boyfriend waiting for you downstairs already sia”), and just met me at Golden Mile where our coach was leaving from. It was an agreed arrangement since i had to go home and take a quick shower and grab my things for the trip. Turns out this little shit met the girl for a dinner before meeting me. Fine, one could argue they could have met as friends. No fucking problem. But priorities, man.

During the bus ride on the way to hatyai (14 May 2015, Thursdy), he asked an odd question “What if i suddenly out of no where wanted to break up with you.” I told him i’d ask him why of course. So this was red flag number one. During day one of our trip (15 May 2015, Friday), he was constantly on his phone (red flag number two). I didn’t really think much of it because he was supposed to be at Suntec for some project innovation thing for school so i guess he had to be around on whatsapp at least. But it got weird, he even started to bring the phone into the fucking toilet when he is showering (no fucking music by the way, red flag number three).

At night, we went to a pub with live band. Everything was alright, but the fucker was still on his phone. Wah kao, exhibition from morning until 10pm siboh? He was sitting right beside me so i snuck a glance at his phone. Top of the conversation list was “J”. I think he felt my glance and quickly snapped the phone shut. I went to the toilet, came back. STILL FUCKING TEXTING (red flag number four). When we were done with our drinks, i was kinda tipsy and pissed. Like, smlj, come holiday with limpei you down there texting girls.

Sua, so we went back to the hotel we had a little argument about it. He insisted that they were just friends, and he just wants to know her better as a friend and he have nothing to hide! I cooled down but stomped to the outdoor patio bar at the hotel and ordered red wine. I had a few sips and asked myself “Do i really have to spoil this trip over this insignificant girl?”. I chilled the fuck out and ordered him some chicken wings and fed him the meat. He got really really drunk. So when we were done, we went up and his phone were in my hands.

(Lai lai getting exciting liao)

Curiosity got the better of me, and i opened up his phone while we were walking to the lift and there it was. That was when it all went downhill. I read the fucking conversation and woah, i just threw the bloody phone on the ground saiyan mode. I was quite high from the red wine so i couldn’t remember exactly word for word what the convo comprised of. But it goes a little something like this:

X: “Dont because I’m S’s cousin then you feel that you want to do this….”

Fucker: “Nope definitely not"

Fucker: “I hope to get an answer from you in a few days time.” (ERRRR???? SIMI LAN JIAO ANSWER????

X/Fucker (don’t remember who said it): “I love you! (insert fucking heartshaped emoji, i rmb it was pink with some details)

I MEAN, COME ON. LIKE. WHAT. THE. FLYING. FUCK. WHO. THE. FUCK. DOES. THIS. ON. FUCKING. VACATION.

So yes, after saiyan mode-ing i ran up the hotel room, packed my stuff and was very determined to get the fuck out of that place. I was fucking angry i admit. The fucker kept hugging me and begging me not to go, and everyone was crying and i was angry. Lots of tears and drama. I slapped him and punched him in the chest a lot of times because he just kept invading my space when all i wanted was to have my own. He tried to pacify me and assure me things by saying "She’s S’s cousin leh. She’s damn young you know a not? She only 18 this year leh. She’s doing private diploma. i just want to know her better. I’m just making friends."

Kanina lah, by telling me all this things then what? It doesnt even make any link to anything!? I tried to open the room door to run out but i think i was like in such an incredible rage i actually managed to pull out the door handle. Slow clap. So we were both stuck in there.

Morning (16 May 2015) i woke up and wanted to leave that hell hole of a hotel and just get back to Singapore asap. He stopped me of course and begged that we just "enjoy this trip together”. He kept emphasizing all he want is “enjoy this trip together”. I cried again cry cry cry, cry like as though my mother fucking pass away and i’m at her songka.

When i checked his phone, he have already deleted the conversation and he said “Don’t you think if she was really interested in me she would have texted me.” Chee bai hor? What kind of fucking statement is that? So you want her to be interested la? So i made him text her first. I orchestrated the conversation below:

Fucker: “Good Morning"

X: "I suppose it is still 11am in Bangkok.” (WE WENT TO HAT YAI)

Fucker: “Do you remember what i said last night?"

X: "Why, have you changed your mind?"

Wah my anger just came in like a wrecking ball again lor. Cause it just proves that whatever i read the night before wasn’t dreams or hallucinations and it confirmed my biggest nightmare. I reluctantly went out after much tears and persuasion. We checked out the major sight-seeing spot in Hatyai in silence. He kept asking me not to be so cold, not to be so hostile. But how the fuck can i not be? Your boyfriend is leaving you for a girl he knew for 3 days?! The whole day i was just holding back my tears and telling myself not to brawl my eyes out in Thai public. By the way, the texting still never fucking stop. I mean what kind of human being are you? Don’t even have the decency to just wait till you get back to singapore then continue meh? Lan jiao sibei itchy knn.

He made the decision of flying back to Singapore. I refused (no idea why. My tao nao really pai at that point of time), and insisted on coming back to Singapore by bus. He booked his flight in the evening. I was still cold and sad. He told me to give him sometime, to sort things out between him and X. I just stared at the ceiling and refused to reply.

He got back a few beers and cigarettes and everything was quite peaceful for a while. But he still continued texting of course (i think i meant fucking nothing to him already at that point of time) and i would just chain smoke and chug beer down by the mouthful on the bed, watching Snoop Dogg sing on the hotel TV. I think i heard ‘So many pros’ at least like 10 times that night.

I thought fucking hard about all the shit that we went through good and bad, how so many times i insisted on leaving him and yet he would insist on "no, dont leave. i have changed, cant you fucking feel it, can’t you see it? i’m making an effort”, camping at my office, sitting outside my house crying and wailing until my mom who is in the house can hear him, how i kicked him in the balls and he still waited for me over night outside, how he would carry my shit for me when he feels that it is too heavy. I sent him a long ass message, telling him i appreciated the sweet things he did for me all those times. I said i would give him time to sort things out, and my love for him is huge.

He saw it, cried (did i mention he cries A LOT) and came and fucking hugged me and said thank you. Sibei drama, machiam channel 8. I went over to where he was sitting, wanting to take a selfie with him (heart soft liao) and then i fucking saw X’s selfie on his phone. I flipped again.

I went out to the balcony to smoke and he dragged me in and threw me on the bed. Then i fucking passed out on the bed shortly after. I woke up in the middle of the night and hugged him and kissed him like i always do. Like the future is uncertain kind but you’re trying to make things better.

Morning (17 May 2015, Sunday), i woke up, showered and got ready to check out. He asked me why did i have sex with him the night before, was it because i didn’t want him to leave me? His flight was at 2.30pm and my bus was leaving at 1.00pm (yes he really abandoned me to take a 17 hour bus journey through malaysia on my own).

I asked him if he had the intention of breaking up with me even without me finding out about everything. He said no. So this bastard actually wanted to lead X on and continue having me as his girlfriend. Fucking pubor.

We went to have Sizzler. He had steak and chicken and i ate nothing cause everything i put in my mouth just tasted like soap. When we parted he said “Remember you what you said okay? You said you’d give me time."

He reached Singapore at around 5.15pm and guess what, X was there to fucking fetch him! Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow. Brain fucking going into overdrive. They changed their facebook relationship status on 17 May 2015 at 3.00pm. (He refused to add me back on facebook and i had to use a friend’s account to get this info like few days later.) What the flying fuck leh hor.

So what fucking time did he need in the first place?! He was just leading me on and fucking trying his luck with X and i was his back-up plan in case things fuck up between her and him. Ho ehhhhhh.

Of course i did not know about all this when i was on the bus on my own for 17 hours emo-ing and hoping with all my might that things would be better once i got back. I even sent him a long message that i loved him and i needed him i don’t want him to leave me, putting down my ego and my pride (Sri Maju is an excellent coach company. They had fucking wifi in the bus). He didn’t even reply. Because why? Got pretty young thing by his side.

18 May 2015, Monday at approximately 6am. I reached home after an arduous 17 hour journey. I slept for 2 hours then went in for work. We just texted sporadically. His replies were dead as fuck. Told him i’d give him 1 week time to clean up his shit (Still didn’t know they were together already).

Tuesday, 19 May 2015. I did not text him. I thought hey, he needs time to sort out his feeling. WRONG HOR. (STILL didn’t know they were together already)

Wednesday, 20 May 2015. This fucker fucking posted a photo of him and X on instagram (foolishly thinking he has already blocked me. btw i still didn’t know they were together already) with the caption "Love the way you are!　#jyw”. What the fuck is the meaning of that sia, like nabei what you playing now? I was so sad and angry, i fucking took urgent halfday leave and went down to his dorm and just packed my things. I was damn determined to get my shit out of the place and be done. But i didn’t. I sat down. Had one smoke. Two smoke. Three smoke. He asked me “why are you here”.

I sat there and poured my heart out to him, he cried and said he really don’t know what to do, i held his hands, begged him, made him kiss me and hug me like he used to, hoping he would stop playing and come back to me. After we were done he asked why? Why did i want i still want him when i know he is clearly a very fucked up guy.

He told me not to contact him or appear at his dorm thereafter because he needs to detach himself from me in order to really sort out his feelings properly. Chao. Gin nah 5 years old also can smell through the fucking bullshit okay. But at that point of time i couldn’t. Now that i think about it, why the fuck did he fuck me when he is already together with her? This asshole is a fucking chronic liar. He thinks if no one finds out it is as good as it didn’t happen.

SORRY BRO. I am a fucking crazy woman when i’m pushed to my wit’s end. Your mind games broke me and i am effectively a raging mad woman.

Thursday, 21 May 2015. I ended work and thought i’d treat myself to new shoes because i am so sad and broken, in short throwing myself a pity party lah. Then this fucker texted me, making small talk. So i cut to the chase asking him if he have already made up his mind. He said “i also dunno wad i wan also”. He sent a few more text telling me he was drinking and worried how he won’t be able to get up for work in time tomorrow. SOOOOO the kum gong xia suay in me agreed to go over so i could wake him up for work tomorrow and take care of him.

The whole night he said he loved the both of us and he wants the best of both worlds. Gan pua tam jiak. He informed me that he would be bringing her home for Dinner on the following monday night. Jesus christ, i didn’t want to know that. He was just constantly stabbing me with an invisible knife. I said “Then you obviously fucking want her and not me what, what time do you still need? You’re already bringing her home for dinner?!”. He said “So? It doesn’t mean anything what”. Jesus christ, my BP shot up high.

He kept drunk calling X and i got fed-up and told him i’m done fighting for us, im done waiting. He kissed me and reassured me saying “you’re in my room right? what are you worried about?!” BTW, he still conveniently fucked me when we woke up in the morning (22 May 2015, despite being in a relationship with her ah. Honestly, i really did not have a hint about about him being in a relationship with her already until friday. Erm i snooped around his computer when he was gone. I’m a terrible person i should be stoned). I questioned him about it and he said “no la, not really together la.” See this fucker still want me to hang around like some dog.

All these time i was expecting him to appear at my house's staircase or even office lobby to apologise and make things up to me. Or if not, at least be spending this time to really sort things out like he said he was going to do. But guess what, he fucking met her everyday, posted sweet photos on instagram. He met her when he begged me for time to allow him to figured things out. Figure out the way to her heart is it??????

The right thing to do was to just cut me off on Monday when we were both already in Singapore. Yes it would have been mean, but it takes fucking balls to do the right thing. He had the fucking guts to lie to my face about everything but didn’t have the balls to settle things like a man. Lan jiao big got what use?

Saturday went by in a breeze, i went for MMA class and fell asleep watching Pitch Perfect in the cinema and got drunk after.

Sunday morning, 24 May 2015 at 10.34am, he sent “Sorry can we be frens?” (PUBOR CAN’T EVEN MAKE THE EFFORT TO SPELL FRIENDS PROPERLY. SORRY HOR BOR PENG YOU ZO). I threatened to tell X the truth and from 11am till about 2pm there was a lot of back and forth with him begging me not to tell her and that he just wants a new relationship, and asked me not to hurt her, pls pls pls pls pls pls i beg you, (SIMILANJIAO?! SO ITS OKAY TO HURT ME?! I GOT NO FEELINGS IS IT? AM I A PIECE OF ROCK?! And what hurt her sia? Why is informing her the truth a way of hurting? For a while i felt like Guan Im Ma, having someone beg me for mercy) if i had to i should hurt him.

Thus, the glitter bomb. It is fucking difficult to remove, it would stick to you and everything else. But otherwise, it looked very cheerful and party-ish. Which was a way to congratulate him on his new relationship and being able to find someone new so quickly.

So i made my way down to his Hall in the west. Funny how it would be the last time i make the hour journey down, when all we talked about was how we are going to spend the rest of our lives together.

The past week was fucking shitty, i smoked an average of 1.5 packets of cigarettes a day and drank every night to get myself to sleep. I couldn’t really get past one meal. One day i would look back at this period and gan my past-self. It is difficult to get over the fact that whatever he said to me he is saying to X now. Its the same fucking script, just different recipient? What was maddening was he just fucking told me he would love me would all his heart and that he has changed. He is super capable of making huge sweeping sweet gestures that would make any girl melt. And his power of persuasion. Gosh, those eyes, and earnest conviction of change. (he created twitter for her. upz)

He calls her Bi. Which is fucking what we call each other. I wish i didn’t have the knowledge of all this shit. It hurts like fuck and i would truly rather be hospitalized for follicle growth in my ovaries all over again (that shit hurt like a bitch) than go through this emotional breakdown. At least i bounced back to work like the day after i was discharged.

He could have broken up with me first properly then proceed to pursue her. Instead he lead me on for days making me go through mental torture and giving me hope when there was none. He lied time after time, such that i felt like i was going fucking insane. I started questioning myself if the 3 months i spent was real?! Or was it something my mind played out on its own. Did i fucking photoshop our selfie? Did i do up our whatsapp convo in illustrator?! I was legit going crazy. But then its mad man, how do you get together with a person that you knew for 4 days and of the 4 days, 3 days he’s in another country? That is something so fucking bizarre that i can't get my mind wrapped around, perhaps thus going nuts cause i can't even be convinced that it is real.

Yes the girl is innocent. But letting her know the truth is a necessary evil. I truly never meant to hurt her. If he can do this to me, he can do this to her too. Or maybe not. But still he fucking cheated. And lied to me time and time and time again. And i’m sure he fed her like daily doses of lies too. If their love is strong enough to sua this daiji or perhaps him painting me as a psycho bitch who was never together with him in the first place (his dorm friends, close friends and parents knew we were together. And his friend S knows we are already attached (fucker told S he wants to settle down, don’t wanna play already when he is with me) but yet condones his act and did not tell X the truth about me. And now i’m the fucking monster?), I wish the two of them all the best.

I just want my truth and my justice instead of being branded as something i was not. If he weren’t fucking ready then why force himself into my life? Insisting on accompanying me to my colleague’s farewell, close friend’s birthday and even letting my mother know about him? I did not fucking force him to do all of the above. Why did he do what he did to me? HOW can he do what he did to me and not show a bit of fucking remorse about his actions and keep lying about who i am and what i am? He is so fucking self-righteous and self-entitled, thinking the world fucking revolves around him and his giant penis. Why should i take the back seat and be accused of being a crazy wild slut (X called me a slut on twitter) who won’t leave someone else’s boyfriend alone when in fact, i was there first?

I did love you with my all heart but, you fucked with the wrong bitch.

Disclosure; i feel that the girl is at no fault. She wants to be loved and he said he would. It is always nice to be wanted. No one would give that up. Plus his lies, I’ve been there and gone through that before, he is just THAT fucking good at talking. He has the ultimate gift of gab.

Girls please stand up to your partner if he did you wrong. We are in the fucking 21st century. I won’t put up with this bullshit.

Edit: I STOPPED SLEEPING WITH HIM ONCE I KNEW HE WAS WITH HER (FRIDAY). I ONLY FOUND THAT HE ALREADY GOT TOGETHER WITH HER AFTER THAT.

via https://goo.gl/QTPPSZ